i will be tired too

Is “tired” the correct word to describe this feeling? or maybe “exhausted” is the correct word.

i had to wake early and accompany the boy to his orientation at nursery and couldn’t leave as the boy is like a koala bear clinging on to me. i had to go through the emotional burden of watching the boy cries and cries for his mommy but harden myself to not feel too much about it. after his class, i had to take all his nonsense and frustrations, as a result from his stress in his new environment. Crying, screaming, rejecting food, jumping on me and kicking & beating me. meal times are struggles because he refuses to eat more than 5 spoonfuls now. other than that, i bathe him twice a day, tried to continue with some activities with him and in layman sentence, be his slave. I also bring him out in the afternoon to places he would like to go to compensate him for the stresses he been thru in the new environment in the morning.. all when i am already 25 weeks plus pregnant. my body is very tired and aching every where now.

During the weekends i asked hubby to carry KD instead cos i can’t carry him but he complained to me that after carrying awhile he is having backaches for days now! -_-“” I kept telling him ya, he is a normal healthy strong man and he already had backaches, i dont even need to carry anything i already have backaches already… Yesterday, i asked hubby for help to change the bedsheets but he didn’t reply if ok and he was home late. so i changed it myself cos What For i Wait? i also asked hubby’s help to bathe KD in the evening, he said ok but he was home late, so i bathe him myself cos What For i Wait again especially when KD pooed? This morning, we are running late and hubby asked me to wait for him he will help me bring KD and bags down to the car together, but he was still not ready and we are running late, so why should i wait again? Yesterday night i was so exhausted i asked him to please put on the pants for KD while i go to bed first… this morning i woke up with KD not wearing any pants and sleeping like that throughout the night in the air conditioned room… No, KD won’t die because of that.. But i am super ANGRY and DISAPPOINTED! I would love to have someone to fall back on too! I would love to get help from the hubby and feel doted on too! I will definitely need someone STRONGER than that i presume?

I always feel that people will take the self-initiatives for the people they love. Don’t use work as an excuse, everyone had to work and i can go back to work anytime too… I can wake up earlier than my hubby and sleeps later than him too. It’s about making sacrifices and a commitment. Do you agree? There are many ways to help make each other’s life better too.

I don’t like staying with my in laws because i realised that everyone in this household has LOTSA excuses for everything.. And they love denying that they are at fault and thus they wouldn’t learn and keep repeating the same mistakes again and again.. and of cos, with that, how can i blame my hubby who is brought up like that? i only wish to make it right for my son so that he won’t turn out like them. I don’t think it’s tough being a SAHM. It’s only tough when one is a SAHM and still staying with the in laws and facing their very difficult domestic helper with an attitude. There are simply too much stuffs on the plate. Everything becomes my problem just because i am not working??

And if i work, i can bring home a lot of doughs… just that i needed someone to look after my children to allow me to be able to focus on work. but alas, there is no such person i can trust or rely on at all.

i am just super emo now, pregnancy hormones at work. *pout*

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2 thoughts on “i will be tired too

  1. Px

    Chill… Things will turn for the better once you move out and here’s a little something…”capability comes with responsibility”…you’re capable!

    Reply

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